White Christmas (1954)

White Christmas (1954)

Directed by Michael Curtiz

Screenplay by Norman Krasna, Norman Panama and Melvin Frank

Runtime: 2 hr

Well, I couldn’t ignore Christmas entirely, now could I?  I originally figured that doing a month dedicated to Michael Curtiz films would be a substitute for talking about Christmas movies, because frankly I’m not a fan.  But then I discovered that Curtiz was the man in the chair for one of the biggest Christmas hits of them all, leaving me little choice but to close out the year with some holiday cheer.  Starring Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye, I present the Irving Berlin song vehicle and smash hit of 1954, White Christmas.

During the Second World War, Phil Davis (Kaye) saves the life of soldier/crooner Bob Wallace (Crosby).  The two become lifelong friends and form the hit entertainment duo of Wallace & Davis.  After their most recent production shuts down for Christmastime, the pair see a sister act—Betty and Judy (Rosemary Clooney and Vera-Ellen), who through wacky hijinks, they end up following up to Vermont to take in some snow.  Staying at an inn owned by the boys’ old commander (Dean Jagger), there’s no snow to be found and they find business is in the toilet.  Song-and-dance routines to the rescue!

Right off the bat, White Christmas fails pretty hard at being a Christmas movie.  Very little of the film has any discernible connection to Christmas.  Most of the plot centers on the romance between Bob and Betty, and the song numbers have more to do with the entertainment business than with December 25.  It’s only the first ten minutes and the last ten minutes of the film that are in any way Christmas-related; in the end it feels as if the Christmas motif was tacked on because “White Christmas” had been a massive hit previously.

Granted, the Christmas theme is not entirely ignored.  The sets are frequently dominated by reds, greens and silvers, even if the songs and dialogue have absolutely nothing to do with holiday cheer.  And this being essentially an Irving Berlin movie, I can get not having that many Christmas tunes; one can only write so many.  But even with those concessions, White Christmas only connects on a holiday level in a superficial manner, and it sort of feels cynical for including it; as the characters might say, Christmas is the movie’s angle.

It’s better to think of White Christmas as a romantic comedy that just happens to take place in December.  And in that regard, it doesn’t work, either.  The love connections here are just off.  Bob and Betty are supposed to be the main couple, but it seems as if Phil and Judy, who explicitly state that their “relationship” exists solely to give Betty tacit permission to find a man, have better chemistry.  How is it that that the two people who are just pulling strings are lovebirds, but that the central romance comes off as contrived and engineered?

Now, Bob and Betty are being engineered into a relationship, so not having chemistry would make sense.  But the film plays it as if the two were meant for each other.  I lay most of the blame on Crosby’s shoulders.  He’s got a hell of voice, but his stage presence is just awkward in his scenes with Clooney.  He’s constantly too confident in his delivery for me to buy a budding relationship, especially since his character is supposed to be perfectly content with waiting for the “one” to find him.  Clooney’s not great, but at least she doesn’t have the same character inconsistency.

The supporting cast is at least a tad more varied.  Kaye’s Phil is very young-teenager in presence; his voice cracks a lot and he will never, ever stop guilt-tripping Bob for saving his life.  Vera-Ellen is a little snarky, but doesn’t leave much of an impression.  And while Jagger has his moments as the general, especially when he just wants to watch the TV, damn it, he too is rather tedious.  This is the sort of situation that Curtiz should have stepped in and given his cast some direction; even the best players here feel more like zombies than people.

Furthermore, the plot to this movie is full of romantic comedy clichés.  You’ve got the characters who think they don’t have time in their lives for a significant other until they just happen to meet each other.  You’ve got the best friends who try playing matchmaker because they’ve evidently got nothing better to do with their time.  And, of course, you’ve got the third act misunderstanding that threatens to ruin the relationship and takes thirty minutes to fix even when just two sentences could clear things up.

I realize that White Christmas is simply some old-fashioned Christmas(y) cheer, but would it have really killed three screenwriters—all three of them—to come up with something a little less formulaic?  Or, hell, at least something that reminded me of Christmas; I could accept the overdone schmaltz if the old “true meaning of Christmas” bit was thrown into the mix.  But, alas, such is not the case.  White Christmas might not be a patently unwatchable film, but it certainly an un-rewatchable film.  A shame for a Christmas flick, since I thought that was the point.

Note: I'll be taking a break for Christmas and New Year's; there will be no article on December 26 and no review on December 29.  Normal service will resume on January 2.  Until 2013!